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“Hard To Place”
Review: January 2012
Local Author Shares Personal Story of Sons' Adoption
"Hard to Place" Author Marion Goldstein pens a poignant and heartfelt
memoir as she recalls the story of her grown sons' adoption and their
search for their birth mother.
By Elizabeth Moore
Perhaps
it is because Marion Goldstein is a psychologist or because she is an
experienced poet that her first book - Hard to Place - is an honest
and gripping portrayal of her grown sons' adoption that isn't burdened
by undue sentimentality.
Goldstein, who raised her family of five in Bloomfield and Montclair,
starts her story as a devoutly Catholic housewife, who, after being
devastated by the loss of a baby, embarks on an adoption of two
neglected brothers from Canada.
But the story isn't just about Goldstein's sons - Kurt and Eddie - it's
also about Goldstein returning to college, finding a career, and
ultimately finding her own place in the world as a mother, wife,
psychologist and writer.
"I didn't intend to write a memoir, there were two stories I wanted to
tell, the first story was how I came to adopt my two youngest sons . .
. who tested retarded, but in the proper environment (turned out to be)
perfectly normal. Then 25 years later, when we thought the boys had
given up any desire to find their biological family. . . we made the
search. I felt I had two stories to tell," Goldstein said recently.
The book - Hard to Place - gets its title from the adoption category
that her sons' fell into - because of their hardship and neglect, they
had behavior and learning problems and were deemed difficult to place
for adoption.
However, under the Goldstein family's love and attention, the boys
flourished and grew up, forging bonds with their siblings, graduating
from high school and finding their individual talents. The author is
honest about some of the hardships her family went through, scrapes
with the law, learning disabilities, and health issues involving her
daughter and husband.
"Their bonding with each other helped them overcome the struggles they went through," she said of her children.
But probably the most gripping part of the book is Goldstein's
wrenching and brutally honest recounting of her sons looking for their
birth mother years later.
"I didn't write someone else's story, I had to put myself into it. I
had to put my feelings into it," she said. "It is definitely the
emotional truth."
Though the book was originally published in 2009, it has been reprinted
recently and has become a local book club favorite. Goldstein, who has
retired from her practice of psychotherapy, has spoken at book clubs
around the North Jersey area and shares with readers her experiences
about writing a book.
Now a grandmother, Goldstein she said she is working on a book of
poetry. She said she hopes readers take away two lessons from her
story,"The first is to have the reader experience how loss, though it
is impossible to imagine at the time, can be the doorway to fulfillment.
The second is to experience, through the story, the amazing resiliency
of Kurt and Eddie and by extension recognize the potential that exists
in every child even when early deprivation predicts otherwise."
"Hard to Place," is sold at Amazon.com, at independent bookstores, and at Barnes and Noble.
“Hard To Place”
Review: August 2011
An absorbing hard to put
down true story of Marion and her family. The Goldstein’s adopted
sibling boys from foster care after already having three biological
children. Many families would have crumbled under just one of the
challenges this family faced, but instead the Goldsteins triumphed and
became even closer as they overcame each crisis. A truly inspirational
tale.
“Hard To Place”
Review: April 2009
Hard
to Place
is not only an adoption story, but also a memoir of a family that reads
like a novel. Although the circumstances leading this family to
adoption are not typical, after the loss of their fourth child at birth
(a biological child), the feelings and experiences will touch anyone
who has adopted a child.
As
a parent of both a biologic and an adopted child I found myself
relating to many of the emotions described in the book. Hard to
Place traces the adoption process as well as details the story of the
Goldstein family, and their five children. We see strength of the
family bond as it deals with Juvenile Diabetes, alcoholism and of
course every adoptive parents concern, search and reunion.
The mystery of the two adopted boys beginning is both suspenseful and
heartbreaking. The love and support that they are given by their
adoptive parents and siblings is so strong it leaves you with an
understanding of what "family" really means.
I highly recommend Hard to Place. It is a beatufully and sensitvely written story of family.
Carol Mintzer
“Hard To Place”
Review: March 2009
As a rule this
newspaper
reviews books by Italian authors or about travel to Italy. We
have introduced you to some vivid Italian novels and life
experiences. This week I will make an exception to my Italian
rule… and this will also mark the writing of my first book
review. I am usually writing for the “foodies” and Italian
travelers…
Recently I was invited to a
cocktail party-book signing for a friend. I was elated for
her. Because we had an author in our midst, two other friends
hosted the party in her honor. I happily RSVPed and off I went to
see my golf buddy and share her joy. After much air kissing and
hugs we all settled in with our wine as our friend read excerpts in her
soft expressive voice from her newly published book. It was
impressive and I had her autograph it to me, and as she penned her name
I couldn’t help but feel her accomplishment and her pride in what she
had done.
Soon after, I left, met friends for dinner,
went home and began to read the book,
Hard to Place
by Marion Goldstein. The cover of the book had the smiling faces
of her two adorable adopted sons, Kurt and Eddie. This poignant
book cover was designed by a mutual friend, Ron Travisano, and it
exuded his talents through the expressive eyes of these two helpless
children in 1971.
I couldn’t put the
book down once I started it. To read a story with the depth and
heart of this one and to know the actual people who are sharing the
last 30 years of their lives with you is quite an experience.
The book begins in the late 1960’s and details
the life of a suburban housewife with three young children (two boys
and a girl), and one on the way. It will begin to center on her
unborn son that she will name John. It then unfolds into a drama
of life, death, depression, alcoholism, illness, accomplishment and
business, but most of all about the experience of loving people and
adoption.
The reader will travel through one strong and
courageous lady’s life as she details the adoption of two “hard to
place” brothers and their pre-adoption horror story. You will
read with much interest how they melded into this very special family
and the three biological children’s acceptance of it. These three
children were exceptional in every way, as they loved and supported
their new brothers and their parents.
I never felt this was only a story about
adoption, although it certainly makes you open your mind and heart to
the beauty of it. But rather a story of one woman’s quest to give
her two adopted sons as well as her own biological children, a home of
love and care and education as she herself grows in her role as mother
and wife. Through it all, she receives her BA degree, a Master’s
degree, holds her marriage together, and cares for her daughter with
Juvenile Diabetes, while always attending to the emotional needs of her
precious Kurt and Eddie. Through this she discovers faith,
religion and poetry along the way. Then, 25 years later, that day
she waited for came – Kurt and Eddie wanted to find their biological
parents. The emotion of that journey will keep your attention to
the end.
Follow this amazing story narrated by this
amazing lady of faith and courage – I did until 5:45am when I finished
it the same night I started it. It’s a must read…. Brava Marion!
Reviewed by M.A. Fortunato.
Italian Tribune, March 19th, 2009
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